Life full with stresses

Holiday is over.. 

And yea I'm back to the hell..

2014.. If there is no any accident happen it will be the last year for my degree life..

Study for so long ,fighting for so hard and finally I'm in the final year..

Year 4 sem 1...

7 subjects to deal with..

•current construction issue

•construction law

•development Econ

•computer aided for QS

•project management

•cocuriculum

•final year project

Am I able to cope with it??

I have no idea about it...

So damn stress right now..

Bunch of assignment are waiting for me ahead..

Mid term test are coming around..

And how about my fyp??!!! It should be submitted on week10...

My mind totally went blank when I think of all these stuff..

Words knt even express the feeling..

It just like I'm lost in the middle of the path......

Stop talking with me...

Stop play around with me..

I'm really no mood to entertain anybody out of there..

I'm in stress..

And finally I understand...

Is not tat easy to become an engineering student especially in Utar....

My lord,

I prayed for myself today...

Please give me strength to deal with it..

Turns my negative mindset to the positive one..

Lord,

Currently I felt lost in my way..

Therefore, I need lord to direct my path and guide me to the right way..

Heal away all the miserable and emotional feelings from me..

Restore those feeling with a cheerful and postive one...

Lord,

I need you..n I know u always be with me.. Thanks for hearing to my prayer n response to my prayer..

May god bless..

In Jesus name I prayed amen...

#thereisabottleneck

#stressfullife

#pleasedontrakemysunshineaway

😭😭

Thought

After all, I realize that I shouldn't put so much in it..

I thought I'm the most important 1 but actually I'm wrong..

I'm juz the same level v them or maybe even lower..LOL

The only differentiate is the "addressed"

The true one will definitely willing to make a changes when they found the other part.

This is what I saw on my friends...

But too bad...

What I've thought along these days were actually in the reverse way..

And, it's enough for me..

Will stop expecting n I shall concentrate on my studies.

This is what I've promise to myself..

One more things to add on..

If things still continue in this way, i will definitely give up and choose for my 2nd choice..

8 more months to go...

#whereismysunshinepleasedonttakemysunshineaway

It has changed..

It is gone...

Everything had change..

I can felt the changes..

It doesn't same as before..

From the sweetest to the tasteless..

It was a truth...

Girl, u must be tough!!!

Yea..

Nothing gonna beat me up..

I knew that there is still lot of people are loving me...tats my family..

No matter what happen, they will still love me as much as they could..

Thx god that I've such a blissful family..

Stay strong girl!!

Today...

I make a wish from lord..

I prayed to him..

Wishing that lord will guide me to the right way...

Whenever I felt lost I will prayed..

Christian is not my religion..I'm not a religious community.and I'm a free thinker...but I do believe in the existance of him...

Maybe because of the past incidents and it makes me believe that he is really existed!! I can really felt that he is right beside me, listen to my prayer and respond to my prayer..

Maybe someone might said that it was just a coincidence, but for me it is definitely not!!!

It always make myself felt calm n refresh after I make my prayer...

"Heavenly Father,direct my path..I cannot manage certain task and responsibility by my own strength , let along making rational decision. Therefore, I ask for your wisdom to know what to do, what to say and where to go...

Lord,this world are full of hypocrisy, lies and deceit. in order for me to make it in this lifetime I need discernment to exposes what's hidden in darkness...
I give you my pain, my tears, my stronghold, my mistakes, my worries, my fears because you care for me...
you are my light, you are my sources, you are my strength, you are my provider, you are my healer, you are my everything.. Instruct my path, father..
In Jesus name I prayed, amen..."

回忆

七年后的第一次…

续中学时期后的第一次…

真的好久好久没搭巴士回家了…

看着窗外的景色,一幕幕的画面浮现在脑海中…

那段童话般的爱情故事,也是最不想忆起的一段…

那曾经是心里的一道疤…

曾经让我不知所措,也是人生中第一次跌落谷底,费了好久好久才恢复过来的一段…

也因为它,我学会了成长,学会了独立,,学会了不轻易相信,学会了冷血,学会了靠自己…

多么不堪的一段往事…甚至到了今天,六年了…我还是不知道原因…

算了，对我来说那也已经不重要了…

时间,真的能冲淡一切…

只是窗外的景色却让自己勾起了许多回忆…

想着想着,从以前到现在的自己…

我承认我做事很冲动…

很多时候都是在很冲动的情况下做了决定。冷静下来后想想,其实到底那决定是对还是错?

相处了短短几天…我真的害怕自己不能很融洽的去相处…

人家说相见容易相处难…

这句话也许是真的吧…

毕竟大家都渐渐的把最真实的一面在对方面前表露出来…

平时的习惯,作息,等等等等…

一些时候能保持得很甜是因为自己没有发现某些事情,或者不知到某些事情…

明明不喜欢,但却只能伪装的微笑…

然后又在等几时会火山爆发?!

自己也知道自己的性格,所以一直说服自己也不断的告诉自己一定要有自己的价值,也要有自己的生活圈…

这世界不会有人因为你不喜欢而改变什么,你能做的就是伪装的微笑而带过…

以牙还牙是我的作风…必要时我真的会…

再多几天就是新的学年…

大学生涯的最后一年…year 4 sem 1...

够力压力的一个sem...

八个月没有上课了…

虽然很想念…

但一想到要回去面对那些 assignment,test,fyp还有final exam..

真的很糟糕!!

很压力也很讨厌!

我需要正能量!!!!!!!!

好吧,加油Jessica Tan... 你是行的!最后一年了,加油加油加油!!!!

慵懒的星期天

今天的心情有点奇特…

星期天…非常慵懒的一天…

没有动力,只想懒洋洋的躺在床上滚来滚去…

突然有股很强的动力,让我爬起身,走到钢琴前坐了下来…

多久没弹琴了?自己也忘了…

原来自己是会弹琴的…

坐在钢琴前,看着那八十八个黑白琴键,脑力一片空白…

突然不知道要弹什么曲子…

心里想着是要贝多芬?还是萧邦?

手在琴键上开始慢慢的弹着…

但弹出来的却是熟悉的曲子…

不是贝多芬，更不是萧邦的曲…

而是周董的不能说的秘密…

一边弹一边哼…

原来,我还记得这首歌的普…

那是以前很喜欢的一首曲…

也是第一次自己认认真真的把一首曲学好…

”你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远

又何必去改变已错过的时间

你用你的指尖阻止我说再见

想像你在身边在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远

或许命运的签只让我们遇见

只让我们相恋这一季的秋天

飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片要我怎么捡”

是啦是啦,我知道自己没有很温柔,也不是很有气质…这叫深藏不露嘛…哈哈哈😜

Penang trip - 10/12/13 to 12/12/13

Having 3 days 2 night trips with gang of love peeps to Penang island..

Hmm..quite fun but it is really an exhausted trip..

Here is the summaries of the trips..

10/12/2013

•Reach lcct at around 6 in the morning with Belinda and Vanessa..waiting others at MacDonald.. Hu~~ is kinda long long time didn't saw both of them..aww~~love them so muchh..chit chat and gossip over ther while waiting for others..

•our flight boarding on 735am and it arrive at Penang international airport at 815am which 15 minutes earlier than as scheduled.. After that, we departed to out hotel for check in..

• had visited to Penang hill,kek lok si and gurney drive. We play we laugh and we chat all the way..walking all day long and I can felt that my leg is no longer belongs to me anymore.. T.T

•food hunted: Penang white curry, Penang char keow teow, Penang asam laksa, ikan bakar, carrot cake, rojak,steam chicken n fried oyster..

** incidents of the day - bel has lost her phone during the way to hotel..everyone was nervous n worried because her ic was put inside her phone casing.. Salute for Steve job for the great design..we had successfully track her iPhone n get it back safely.. Thanks god, praise The Lord..

11/12/13

• as scheduled, we had visited to Penang national park.. It was my 1st time to take part in jungle tracking.. Was a great experience.. Gang of QS walk inside jungle for not less than 4000m in 3 and half hours time and get out from the so called jungle by speed boat with just less than 20minutes.. Everyone was tired like hell..but it is worth..great and nice experience for everyone.. Will go again,I promise myself..

• after that, we went to batu ferringi to enjoy sunset.. Kinda romantic feeling and it makes me missing my babe so badly.. The scene was so beautiful and I was attracted by the view. I love natur3 and seaside..❤️❤️❤️

•back to Georgetown n went to enjoy Christmas festive mood..

•food hunt: wan tan mee, char kuew teow, dim sum, seafood, laksa,pancake 

** incidents of the day: bel falls sick!! Omg!!

12/12/13

•last day of the trip..as scheduled we went to chew jetty and walk around over there for exploring the food and also street art..walking all the way and sweat like hell..

•back to hotel and depart to airport.. Boardind time 1845pm..

•reach kl at around 1940pm..

•food hunt: Penang local food, cafe, road side roti bakar...

Nice and memorable trip..look forward for the next stop for us.. =)

Belinda, Jessica, Mayling and Vanessa taking photo with street art..

Map for Penang national park..

In national park

After jungle tracking for not less than 4000m..finally we reach here..!! Ya..uphill downhill just to visit this place!!!

I'm the margician..^^

Bye bye Penang..take care everyone..see u guys next year in UTAR.. Bel!!! We will miss u..

Arrived!!!! The end of our Penang trip..

🎶🎶

把他忘记

重复告诉自己…
熟悉不再熟悉
但清晰却还是一样清晰…

去吧…
隨着右手旋律
忘了左手的委屈
就算沒伴奏也可以继续

前进,找寻新的记忆和空气
放晴,等雨说放弃

在有眼泪的雨里
哪里都是你
擦干是否就看不见你
脑海里 你的笑容太徹底
徹底把我囚禁在你的呼吸
我跟着哭泣

在有眼泪的雨里
哪里都是你
抱紧你是我逃离的距离
太拥挤,我在你的世界里
看不清楚的是你还是自己
我们都在等雨停