27oct 2012

-wish to get mysev drunk..
so that I no need to tink too much and explained so much.-

I really don't mean to hurt anybody..
really don't wish to hurt anyone..
that's the reason why I remain silent and keep on saying that I need space and time.
but...
why no one can understand what I want?? I was really so tired and sick with my current life style..
everyday wearing a mask to face with people around me, wearing a fake smile on my face..
what the hell am I doing??
why I need to suffer all these??
why??
is not my fault..but then why everyone blamed on me??even my family..
I was hurt..really down and emo..
family are always the most important to me..but...
now even them also blamed on me..
I really don't know what the hell you had told them.they trust what you said..they even duno what's going on.they didn't even ask me what was happening.they listen to u and started to blame on me..
when I saw my bro status I was totally moody..I knw u had told him lot of things.all created by your ownsev and based on your own imagination..damn!!
why i need to face all these?!
why they rather believe in a person who doesn't has any relation v them?
gosh!!
ya!! u already success..
congrats to you as u already success to make my family stand at your side..

people were saying..juz follow your heart,but when the heart was broken into pieces which pieces shud I follow?!

keep on forcing n blaming..
I really going to insane soon..
my world was full of darkness again..
I really hate you!!
really really HATE YOU!!
and all I need to tell is: u can keep force me to stay by your side..but u can't force my heart..whatever gone is gone..
god will just give us 1chance..once the chance gone that's mean it is gone..there is no 2nd chance in your life.
pls..just let go..don't make yoursev suffer and don't make the others to suffer..
I'm still myself..
be my ownsev..
I'm single but not available..
not available for anyone and of course no longer available for YOU!!!


*my dear lord, I really need you right now..please~tell me what shud I do and lead me to the right way.*