Thought

After all, I realize that I shouldn't put so much in it..

I thought I'm the most important 1 but actually I'm wrong..

I'm juz the same level v them or maybe even lower..LOL

The only differentiate is the "addressed"

The true one will definitely willing to make a changes when they found the other part.

This is what I saw on my friends...

But too bad...

What I've thought along these days were actually in the reverse way..

And, it's enough for me..

Will stop expecting n I shall concentrate on my studies.

This is what I've promise to myself..

One more things to add on..

If things still continue in this way, i will definitely give up and choose for my 2nd choice..

8 more months to go...

#whereismysunshinepleasedonttakemysunshineaway

It has changed..

It is gone...

Everything had change..

I can felt the changes..

It doesn't same as before..

From the sweetest to the tasteless..

It was a truth...

Girl, u must be tough!!!

Yea..

Nothing gonna beat me up..

I knew that there is still lot of people are loving me...tats my family..

No matter what happen, they will still love me as much as they could..

Thx god that I've such a blissful family..

Stay strong girl!!

Today...

I make a wish from lord..

I prayed to him..

Wishing that lord will guide me to the right way...

Whenever I felt lost I will prayed..

Christian is not my religion..I'm not a religious community.and I'm a free thinker...but I do believe in the existance of him...

Maybe because of the past incidents and it makes me believe that he is really existed!! I can really felt that he is right beside me, listen to my prayer and respond to my prayer..

Maybe someone might said that it was just a coincidence, but for me it is definitely not!!!

It always make myself felt calm n refresh after I make my prayer...

"Heavenly Father,direct my path..I cannot manage certain task and responsibility by my own strength , let along making rational decision. Therefore, I ask for your wisdom to know what to do, what to say and where to go...

Lord,this world are full of hypocrisy, lies and deceit. in order for me to make it in this lifetime I need discernment to exposes what's hidden in darkness...
I give you my pain, my tears, my stronghold, my mistakes, my worries, my fears because you care for me...
you are my light, you are my sources, you are my strength, you are my provider, you are my healer, you are my everything.. Instruct my path, father..
In Jesus name I prayed, amen..."

回忆

七年后的第一次…

续中学时期后的第一次…

真的好久好久没搭巴士回家了…

看着窗外的景色,一幕幕的画面浮现在脑海中…

那段童话般的爱情故事,也是最不想忆起的一段…

那曾经是心里的一道疤…

曾经让我不知所措,也是人生中第一次跌落谷底,费了好久好久才恢复过来的一段…

也因为它,我学会了成长,学会了独立,,学会了不轻易相信,学会了冷血,学会了靠自己…

多么不堪的一段往事…甚至到了今天,六年了…我还是不知道原因…

算了，对我来说那也已经不重要了…

时间,真的能冲淡一切…

只是窗外的景色却让自己勾起了许多回忆…

想着想着,从以前到现在的自己…

我承认我做事很冲动…

很多时候都是在很冲动的情况下做了决定。冷静下来后想想,其实到底那决定是对还是错?

相处了短短几天…我真的害怕自己不能很融洽的去相处…

人家说相见容易相处难…

这句话也许是真的吧…

毕竟大家都渐渐的把最真实的一面在对方面前表露出来…

平时的习惯,作息,等等等等…

一些时候能保持得很甜是因为自己没有发现某些事情,或者不知到某些事情…

明明不喜欢,但却只能伪装的微笑…

然后又在等几时会火山爆发?!

自己也知道自己的性格,所以一直说服自己也不断的告诉自己一定要有自己的价值,也要有自己的生活圈…

这世界不会有人因为你不喜欢而改变什么,你能做的就是伪装的微笑而带过…

以牙还牙是我的作风…必要时我真的会…

再多几天就是新的学年…

大学生涯的最后一年…year 4 sem 1...

够力压力的一个sem...

八个月没有上课了…

虽然很想念…

但一想到要回去面对那些 assignment,test,fyp还有final exam..

真的很糟糕!!

很压力也很讨厌!

我需要正能量!!!!!!!!

好吧,加油Jessica Tan... 你是行的!最后一年了,加油加油加油!!!!