Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I'm back, October babyyy

It has been quite a long time didn't updated my blog...
Kinda lazy and kinda bored..
October..
Ma favorite month..
Simply love this month so much because I'm October babyyy...

1 n half months to go before my internship going to end..
Getting busier as I need to prepare my industrial training report n need to summarize out my daily task...

Time past time
Day past day
Sometime I really felt exhausted..

Few more days and I will turn to become 23..omg!!!! Getting older n older.. 
Giving myself 3 years time..
Set my own goal and aim..
Hopes that I could achieve it within this 3 years..

Believe in ursev...
Give some faith to yourself..
Focus on it..
Put some effort on it..
Sure you can do it..!!

Strengthen me and lead me my lord..

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

距离越来越远
感觉越来越淡
想问从前的感觉去了哪里?
是我的问题吗?
怎么感觉不到?
总是觉得你变了…
感觉越来遥远
感觉自己越来越不重要
感觉不再像从前
是我的问题吗?
心渐渐变冷渐渐变淡
不知道什么时候开始,想好好跟你讲话已经变成一种很奢侈的要求…
突然觉得很讽刺,有时候需要人陪的时候那个人总不是你…
一直等一直等…
一直等…
是自己越来越不被重视了吗…
有时候在想,既然自己都那么不被重视了那我还那么在意干嘛?
自讨没趣?
有些时候…潜意识里的我真的很在意,拜托我没有你想象中的大方…可是却必须装的很大方很不在意…
真的很累…
那种感觉是以前从来都不会有的,从来都不用去担心的…
以前的踏实感全部都没有了…
对…我知道不是每个人都一样…
当被问到那个问题时我真的不懂要怎样回答…
只能说:每个人都有自己的自由啊,我可以怎样?我做好自己的本分就好啊…
多么可笑…
我真的很累…
有时候真的就想算了当做什么都看不见,自己那么在意一直转牛角尖又怎样? 
一直在强调的东西他也许根本就不懂…
我要的其实很简单…
可是你真的懂吗?
最基本的都给不了我还能奢望什么?
突然觉得那个属于两个人的未来变得好遥远…
我也真的很懒惰一直要重复…
真的很累…
是我错了吗?
突然对自己超没有信心…
我觉得我会……
我真的觉得自己会……

如果有一天我突然变得很冷漠请不要感到讶异……
因为…我真的累了…

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

October..ma favorite month

Yea~ is October...
A month that I love the most..
1st day of oct..
Same as usual..busying for my work..progress claim, work progress chart, measurement, quotation, site valuation and so so so on..
Hu~ 2 more months to go and luckily I didn't promise my contract manager , mr.vincent, the big liar to extend my internship..
Work load getting heavy and heavier but I did enjoy my work so much..
I choose the course that I'm interested with it and so do my job.. Work as interest but not work as a 'work'..
Sound complicated right??
Well~ ignore what I'm saying, I'm always talking something that others hard to understand.. XP
2 more months to go before my holidays come..

Having western cuisine as my lunch just now..lunch treated by Mr.Jimmy, reinforced bar's supplier..
Láfité.. The restaurant name...
A France theme restaurant..
Love the environment ,high classes surround with some soft classic music, romantic environment,all the staff are so kind and friendly and of course the price was very high as well..
But it is worth..as the cuisine is quite special and tasty..
Hmm..it was the best western cuisine in the town..
Thanks mr.jimmy for the expensive lunch..(around rm300 for just 3 of us)..
Having a great meal and great time with them.. 

Laying on my lovely purple bed...
Zzz...zzz...zzzz...zzz...
Turn on my sleeping mode..
Zzz...zzzz...zzz...zzz...
Zzz...zzz...zzz..
Zzz...zzz...
Zzz
Good nite world❤️
#throwback

Le fish n chip, scallop, smoke duck salad, grill chicken chop, spaghetti , salmon and dessert ...special thanks to mr.jimmy =)

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

好想好好大睡一场…
最近真的很累很累…
身体上的累,心灵上的累再加上精神上的累…
呼~
简直不是开玩笑的…
其实还蛮佩服自己的,竟然还能撑到那么久…
也蛮怀疑自己到底能撑到什么时候?
有时候真的好累好累…
感觉快要撑不下了,但却硬撑着,死撑…
甚至有时候累到会在想:如果我什么都不是? 如果我不是我,如果我什么都没有。那该多好…什么都不用烦,不用担心,不用心淡…
有些东西,当你没有的时候可能会觉得很想得到…没有的时候可能会觉得很空虚…
可是我想说,当你真正拥有时你必须顾虑很多很多,你必须担心这个担心那个…

心里好多东西压着,却不知从何说起…
最近更是糟糕…
告诉自己不去理会,眼不见为净…
我想我做到了…甚至不会去理会…你越是在乎,你就越没有价值!就会变的可有可无…
庆幸的是在我需要找人倾诉的时候总是会有那么一个他会及时的出现…
可悲的却是……
有时候我真的很怀疑…

随着时间一天一天的过,一天一天的长大…
才发觉有些东西你真的必须考虑好好,想清楚才做决定…
不然真的会后悔…
我知道自己…
我不喜欢失败的感觉,不论是功课,友情还是爱情…
觉得自己没有能力经营或兼顾好我真的会选择一开始就放弃…
好过到最后失败了…那种感觉真的很恐怖…

开始为自己的未来做打算…
以后的日子应该怎么走应该怎么做?
心里也已经有数…
大家都说:女孩子太过强悍总是不惹人喜欢…
也许吧…
我有自己的想法,靠自己总是比靠别人来得好…
毕竟自己是过来人…
可以的话我也想当个小女人啊…
谁不想能天天在自己爱人身边撒撒娇,做个小鸟依人的小女人?
谁不想随时随地有个肩膀靠?
可是就是过不了心里那关…
总是担心被伤害…
算了…
反正我也不在乎别人怎么说怎么看…
老实说我也没有必要去讨好那些不重要的人…我觉得根本没有那种必要…
毕竟自己也不喜欢随便乱搭,到处乱交朋友…

我还是我…

Sunday, September 22, 2013

When u give lots important to someone,you lose yours importance in their life..
It is true..
So start from now I will be the one that I used to be..
Chill =)




Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Imperfection

Life won't be as easy as what you think..
It also won't be as smooth as what you expect..
Do you ever tried this before!??
When u plan something so hard and maybe you felt it was so perfect for you and you are really excited and look forward for it..at the end there is something not really urgent for you, not really in your concern but because of responsibility you just cant ignore it, reject it and avoid it..ya..it ruined my whole planing..
Do u ever tried this before?? and do you know what's that feeling??
Bloody hell..
I thought it will be the perfect 1... Gods know!??
now I've to replan again...
And everything is too late!!!!!
Expectation ended up with disappointed..
Guess the one will have such feeling too..
Argh..I'm really just so sorry for the imperfection..it really out of my expectation..
I know it means lot to my somebody but what to do?!!!
Beside that sorry n guilty I really don't know what should I do..
It totally mess me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why so coincidence?!!!!!!!
Arghhhhh..wish to bang wall now... T.T

Saturday, September 7, 2013

💔

不是不满足..
更不是不知足..
我很珍惜我所拥有的..
我很感恩老天的恩典..
谢谢他把你带到我身边...
可是..这一夜..
心在滴血..
我不是他它她们
请不要把我跟他它她们混为一谈..

也许不是你的问题..
而是我根本还在框框外..
根本挤不进

算了..
反正我也不喜欢勉强
是我的就是我的
不是我的再怎么样还是会跑掉..

这一夜,真的很痛
原来..
是我太高估我自己了
原来....
是我把自己想的太重要了

失望

 

JesSica's bloG. Thanks to Blogger Templates | Design By: SkinCorner