Sunday Service

" today's a new day. why allow yesterday's problem determine a new day? always be grateful and thankful.be glad and be joyful "
went to Sunday service n Father had told me this..
ya..I shud be grateful with what I have..thx god for everything that I have..
stop emo miss Jessica..all u have to do is be glad and joyful.welcoming every single day with a smile..trust ursev..u can do it!!

prayer:
Heavenly Father,
help me to quit waking up with a complaining spirit, an attitude and dwelling on yesterday problems.instead change my complaining to thanksgiving, my attitude to love and turns my problems over to you.
in Jesus name, amen..

讨厌

太过在意别人真的会让自己受伤..
我很清楚我只是不甘愿，可是为什么心那么痛?
为什么在我选择忘记时你又再次出现?
为什么出现了又离开?
你的出现一开始本来就是个错..
就当成你从来就没出现不就好了吗?
我到底在执着什么,到底在期盼什么?
醒醒好吗?干嘛让一个这样的人影响你的情绪?
想回去真的觉得很好笑甚至很羞耻..
一切都是自己找来的..
谁叫自己犯贱?谁叫自己笨?活该你有今天,笨蛋!!
对他而言你可能只不过是一个陪他谈心的陌生人..现在人家已经不需要你了,笨蛋!!
真的,只有'你'有这样的本事,能一次一次影响我的情绪...
我真的很讨厌你啊!!!!! ><'

加油

不要去在意别人在背后怎么说你看你,
编造关于你的是非,甚至是攻击你..
人贵在大气；
要学会对自己说:
如果这样说能让你们满足,我愿意接受..
并请相信,真正懂你了解你的人,
绝不会因为那些有的没的否定你...
加油 =)

a little reminder for myself <3

Be careful with what you think,
Because your thoughts run your mind...
Don't use your mouth to tell lies,
Don't ever say things that are not real...
Keep your eye focus on what is right,
Look straight ahead on what is good...
Be careful with what you do,
Always do what is right...
=)

•••Another task for today: pray hard for the one who fall sick..may God bless you.. hope sickness go away from you and hope you get well soon..
in Jesus name, amen..•••

_Prayer_

Heavenly Father,
I know I can take life for granted at times whereas so many did not make it through the day or let along see today.
Teach me to be grateful and more aware of your grace.
Lord,
There are many people living in deception, darkness and spiritual blindness by the energy but I thank you that your mercies are new every morning God.
You are so gracious that you give us many chances to get it right and some are still taking life for grant because their mind have be soaked into falsehood.
I asked in Jesus name that you will remove the deceit, deception and confusion off of people right now Lord.
Let your light shine so bright that the blind will know you are Lord.
Father,
I speak on the behalf of my bother and sister who are suffering and overwhelmed by what they are going through.
Know that with God you will make it through in Jesus name.
The reason why you are going through hardship is because The Lord is strengthening your faith and bringing you to a higher level in him.
The Lord wants in endow you with the power of the Holy Ghost.
•To lay hands and to decern.
•To understand his holy word.
•To speak with tongue and give interpretation.
•To prophesy with edification.
•To heal the sick and raise the dead.
•To cast out devils like Jesus said.
•To open blind eyes and cure the mind.
•To move mountains and break up the fallow ground.
Endow your people today Lord.
In Jesus name,Amen.

moody nite•••

take a deep breath..
smile..
accept..

beside than that what else I can do?!

mind stuck..
heart struggling..
feel miserable..
I really don't know how long I still can stand for it..

fate..
destiny..
life..
somehow i think that it is so unfair..

beside that accept it with an open heart what else I can do??!!

stunned..
shocked..
blanked..
unacceptable.
oh my god~bel is going is leave Utar..
how am I going to accept it?
how I wish she was just joking with me..

haiz~
life is really unpredictable..
beside than accept it what else I can do?!

•all the best in your future bel, may god bless you..i will pray for you no matter where you are..good luck to you my dear friend..just to remember that no matter what happen, you still have us..our friendship will never end..•❤❤❤

感慨

生命很脆弱..
人是那么的渺小..
我们根本无法预测下一秒会发生什么事情..
有时，我在想：要是哪天我走了,不在了,除了家人到底还有谁会为我难过?
嗯..当然〜这只是假设性问题..xDD

今天心情有点灰有点糟..
早上一睡醒不小心看到一个坏消息..
你离开了我们..
跟病魔作战了那么久，最终你还是离开了..
虽然我们不熟..但听到消息后还是为你的离开感到难过..
也许这对你来说是一种解脱.
至少你不必再饱受病魔折磨..

一年里面两个朋友相续离开..
相隔时间不到半年.
生命真的很无常..
我们根本不知道下一秒将会发生什么事..
珍惜，感恩所有的一切..
不要等到失去才来后悔..
一切都已经太迟了...

安息吧朋友...一路走好...

</3

比想象中更痛，
你真的没回头，
我命令眼泪不许失控..
回忆不跟你走，
都积在我心中，
我就有责任让它值得被珍重...
谢谢你曾让我难过..
谢谢你让我想太多..
当爱情左盼右顾的时候，
我眼泪都笑了谁还想哭呢？
再勇敢的站着找回光和热..
面对你的时候我不会舍不得..
因为你已是过客..
因为路有些曲折是美的..
心碎成了沙漠，
就快开凿绿洲，
我没有时间不知所措..
你温柔的双手，
本就不属于我，
又何必在乎它以后属于谁呢？
来不及完美的，
就唱首离歌..
想起你的时候，
我不是卑微的..
然而我没有遗憾，
因为你已在我脑海里...
深深的...

miserable?! suffering?! struggling?!

life is always not as simple as u wish..
my current life was full with loneliness,emoness and miserable..
pretending that I'm fine n nothing in front of my family and even my friend..
tears drop down,out of my control when I was alone..
nobody knew that....
it was few days ago since we last chat..
I'm wrong.
I shouldn't came out v the post..
I should keep the relation in a vague state..
at least we can still keep In contact..
but now..
is over..its really over..
promises..!?
do u still remember what u have promise me before?!
u said I'm important to you..
u said I'm precious..
u said u will always accompany me.
u said u won't dont bother me..
u said it is a must for me to watch football match v u..
u said u will watch twilight breaking dawn II with me..
u said u scared I don't want to bother you..
u said u will take care of me n u wan me to do so...
u said u want me to be happy..
do u still rmb?!
are those promises still promises??
or it is just a void?!
I don't know, really don't know..
my mind was stuck at there..
my heart was struggling..
I don't know what to do..
how I wish we still like before..
we texting all the time when u are free..
call me up just to listen my voice before u went to sleep..
but now..all change!!
I know there are lots of thing troubling u..
and I know u're not going to share v me anymore..
all I can do now is just pray for you..
put you in my prayer..
and waiting for the day that I waiting for..
I really wish that the day will come..
besides praying I really duno wat else I can do..at least it could make me feel clam and feel better.......
may god bless...

错的人

微笑的背后又有谁能真正的了解悲伤？
其实一直以来都把自己掩饰的很好，
可能大家都会认为我真的没事..
但是...其实是相反的。
内心里的空虚，内心的悲伤到底有谁能正真的了解？
真正不开心的原因到底又有谁知道?
我应该告诉谁?
我能告诉谁?
以为喝醉了就能把所有的烦恼忘光..
醒了以后才发现更痛苦..
那种感觉真的很难受..

•••爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲，
太容易让自己沉沦，
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕，
我太笨明知道你是错的人，
明知道这不是缘分，
但是我还奋不顾身..
宁愿笨也不想要悔恨•••
这首歌就像一把刀直接刺进了我的心..
我能怎样？
我到底还能怎样？==＂

Life <3

Life's only travelled ONCE..
TODAY's MOMENT become TOMORROW's MEMORY...
Enjoy every moment no matter good or bad..
Because the GIFT of LIFE is LIFE itself.


Life challenges are not supposed to paralyse you, 
they're supposed to help you discover who you are...


Keep love in your heart...
A life without it is like those dead flowers in a sunless garden...

Life is like a sport...
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose...
But whatever it is, the game always go on.


Life can only be understood backwards,
But it must be lived forwards. =)

7.11.2012

生命中没有什么是偶然的，
事情背后都有一双手在掌管；
生命中也没什么是必然的，
不同选择不同结果，
每个人都必须为自己的选择负上责任；
生命中也没什么是理所当然的，
快跑的未必会赢，
力大的未必得胜，
一切都只是在当时的机会。
但有件事，
我是确知的：
行在上帝心意之中，
一切都不是徒然，
也不是枉然的...

心淡

很多时候..
其实很多事情并不能像我们想象中的那样..
一直很努力的说服自己不要太在意，不要去在意..
可是..
我却做不到..
一句话，真的只要一句话..
就足以影响我一整天..
我到底是怎么了..
其实,自己心里很清楚的知道结果,但就偏偏要一头栽进去..
真的是傻傻的..
忽冷忽热..呵呵..
真的很不好受..
一下晴天,一下雨天..
嗯...阴晴不定让人容易生病..
我还能奢望什么?
我应该奢望什么?
感觉上,我等待的东西好像离我越来越远..
人嘛..总是喜欢自寻烦恼.
明明有那么多选择,但偏偏就要选那个离你好远好远,甚至不属于你的东西..
唉〜
想象跟现实真的根本一点也扯不上关系..
要是现实能像童话那么简单那该多好..

ώkeep on telling n remind mysev:
dun b sad even the whole world ignore u..Lord Daddy will always be there for you whenever u feel alone..He will sayang you all the time..😇ώ

when emoness came into my life...

my tears was drop down..out of my control..I try my best to control my tear not to drop down but I failed..
I dun care how others people think and look on me..I can't control their mind and even their mouth..
I'm so lazy to explain with them and I think that was not necessary..it is unnecessary for me to explain with those unimportant people and unimportant matter..
this was me..I won't care others feeling.i don't mind if you don't like me.u can just leave..
but...
how come u both keep blame on me and saying tat I'm wrong? I didn't do anything..I admit I'm wrong..not because of I give up the relationship.but just because of I'm not cruel enough and not mean enough.I was too soft hearted..that's y I get hurt again and again..
all I do is just to protect myself..am I wrong??

thx God..thx god for giving me such a good daddy..I'm really appreciate to have such a good daddy..
he is the only one who stand by my side n listen to me when all of the people were blaming on me..
daddy said: try to find a guy who love u more but not you love him more..daddy wants u to be happy..remember!! u're not alone..u still have daddy..
ya..my tears drop down again..
feel touch n warmth.
he even scare I will think much and suggested to hang out with me..
I really appreciate n feel grateful that I having such a good daddy..

I shouldn't wasted too much of time on the stupid relationship matter..it's not worth..u treat someone as the importance one but they might be not..

I'm Jessica.my dad's precious.
•the one who always so arrogant once upon a time•
•the one who live in her own world n always ignore the others once upon a time•
•the one who live with her own principle once upon a time•

I should be myself..
be tough Jessica..nothings gonna beat u up..as someone said:time is the best medicine to cure sadness n emoness..
so..let times tell the truth.
...its not the end of the world,life still goes on...

EmOing...

...when u give lots importance to someone in your life,you lose your importance in their life..

•it's sound so true and it is how I feel right now..u gain nth besides hurt when u expected more on something or someone..so,pls dun expected too much..yours mean yours.cant force..•

•AND I'm so sorry to tell that..I don't need any part-time people appear in my life,get lost pls if u're the one..thx..•

p/s:
again..I've to mention..for the one who owax stalk my blog.i'm not saying you.pls dun tink too much n syok sendiri there..thankyou~

-nO tiTle-

总会有人说你好，也会有人说你不好..
只要做人做事问心无愧，就不必执着于他人的评判..
不必一味讨好别人，那样使自己活得更累..
就算全世界都否定你，你也要相信自己..
你是活给自己看的，没有多少人能把你留在心上..
如果你讨厌我，我一点也不介意..
我活着不是为了取悦你..^^


*dun chase people; be u!!
Do your own thing n work hard..
The right people who belong in ur life will come to u,and stay..<3 *

27oct 2012

-wish to get mysev drunk..
so that I no need to tink too much and explained so much.-

I really don't mean to hurt anybody..
really don't wish to hurt anyone..
that's the reason why I remain silent and keep on saying that I need space and time.
but...
why no one can understand what I want?? I was really so tired and sick with my current life style..
everyday wearing a mask to face with people around me, wearing a fake smile on my face..
what the hell am I doing??
why I need to suffer all these??
why??
is not my fault..but then why everyone blamed on me??even my family..
I was hurt..really down and emo..
family are always the most important to me..but...
now even them also blamed on me..
I really don't know what the hell you had told them.they trust what you said..they even duno what's going on.they didn't even ask me what was happening.they listen to u and started to blame on me..
when I saw my bro status I was totally moody..I knw u had told him lot of things.all created by your ownsev and based on your own imagination..damn!!
why i need to face all these?!
why they rather believe in a person who doesn't has any relation v them?
gosh!!
ya!! u already success..
congrats to you as u already success to make my family stand at your side..

people were saying..juz follow your heart,but when the heart was broken into pieces which pieces shud I follow?!

keep on forcing n blaming..
I really going to insane soon..
my world was full of darkness again..
I really hate you!!
really really HATE YOU!!
and all I need to tell is: u can keep force me to stay by your side..but u can't force my heart..whatever gone is gone..
god will just give us 1chance..once the chance gone that's mean it is gone..there is no 2nd chance in your life.
pls..just let go..don't make yoursev suffer and don't make the others to suffer..
I'm still myself..
be my ownsev..
I'm single but not available..
not available for anyone and of course no longer available for YOU!!!


*my dear lord, I really need you right now..please~tell me what shud I do and lead me to the right way.*

Comfort

When your heart is sad and lonely,
And your friends seems far away,
Turn to HIM who is all holy,
And He'll drive your cares away.

When a dear one seems to fail you,
When for friendship true you long,
Confide in HIM who is all true,
And He'll right your every wrong.

Jesus' heart is your true refuge,
To HIM you can always flee,
Even when your hopes are sinking,
He will then a true friend be.

HE will soothe your lonely spirit,
HE will love and bless and say,
"Come to Me and I will comfort you, today and everyday."

_vague relation_

We'l never completely understand what love is or what hate is...
if we did, the world would be perfect.
I really wish you'd take time to read my posts just so you'd have an idea about how I really feel.
but on the others hand,i wish u won't see it. i wish to hide all the post from you to read,but lastly i didn't.

Sometimes remain silence is the best way to deal with problems, but sometimes it won't.
I scared you will walking far away from me, don't even want to bother me anymore..I really scared..
Maybe I hope too much. Maybe I dream too much and Maybe i really think to much.
But at least I won't give up until I've tried, 
And please don't keep blaming yourself or even felt guilty. Its not your fault actually.
So no need keep apologize or keep on saying sorry with me as i don't need it.
I know what i am doing and I won't regret anything.


-"Love like you've never been hurt," they say. Well, if you never get hurt, you'll never learn how to love.
-Never trust no one because at the end no one will be there for you, even yourself will turn against you.
-form does not differ from emptiness,emptiness does not differ from form. 

心魔

一个看不到 摸不着
却能左右一个人的思绪
我只能说：心魔,你真可怕..

可是...'你'更加可怕..
我..真的很累很累，但为什么你不能放过我呢?
是我的表达方式有问题吗?
为什么你好像不明白我说的话?
我..不想伤害任何人..
但总不能因为这样伤害自己吧?!
问题，它其实一直都存在..
我真的不想在折磨自己..
我真的很累很累..
感觉不对,我有试着找回试着挽回.
可是...我失败了..
我不想再戴着面具面对..
我不想再戴着面具过日子..
我更不想明明心里不高兴,却假装面带微笑来面对你.
这的确是非常痛苦的事.
我承认.我也没有好到哪里去.
我也不是十全十美.
我试着包容过，体谅过.
但...我也只能说：一个人的包容心再大总有一天都是会满的..
我只想一个人静一静。过着一个人的生活.
这很难理解吗?!
我做的还不够明显?
还是讲的不够白?
渐渐开始觉得很烦.
我承认我是不成熟,我真的承认..
也许分开一段时间对大家都好..
继续下去只会让人越受伤...
我真的很累啊，放过我吧~
我只想简简单单的过完我的大学生涯，毕竟读书才是我现在最应该做的事.
我有自己的目标，自己的理想..
我更不想让父母失望..
放下未必是件坏事
死缠未必是件好事
我只想说放手吧,前方其实有更多事等着你去做...
烦啊!!!!!!😫😫😫😫😩😩😩
*请对号入座，谢谢*

-safe-

hard to find the way to get through,
its a tragedy..
pulling at me like the star do,you're like gravity..
even if the wind blows,it makes it hard to believe..
how you gonna love?
how you gonna feel?
how you gonna live your life,like the dream u have is real?
if u lost ur way, I'll keep u safe,we'll open up all the world inside,see it come alive tonight,I will keep u safe.
doesn't even matter to u to see wat I can see.
I'm crawling on the floor to reach u,
I'm wreck u see..
when you're far from home now,makes it hard to believe.
we all fall down..
we all feel down..
cause rainy days n summer highs..
the more we pray;the more we feel alive.....

BFF <3

I really can't rmb when is the last time we having our gathering..
yea~I'm really happy n enjoy it very much with them-my BFF..
with no any worries
with no any sadness
with no any gaps
we talk
we chat
we laugh
we share
we care...
I do not need to pretend myself infront of them..
I've tired with putting myself with a mask..
is really tired..

I do appreciate the moment with them..
I smile..is real n true smile.n it was from the bottom of my heart..
the friendship between us were never change..[although I'm the one who owax ffk ==']
I ❤ u guys••best friend forever••
•weijian•
•Ziyin•
•min•
•chong xiang•
•Rex•
•hernn•
•chai•
u guys had brighten up my day..tengiu~~<3

好累好累

突然觉得世界充满了黑暗..
成绩只是其中一小部分吧..
压抑已久的心绪再也隐藏不住..
泪水决堤了..
我需要一个肩膀，一个能让我依靠的肩膀..
我累了..
真的好累好累..

no title

Is blue color font...well, i really love blue color a lot..There are many people saying that blue represent the color of emo..but i don't think so..For me~it's represent clam..xD


Is another a long long time i didnt blogging...is kinda lazy actually..(i'm not tat pandai in expressing my feeling by writting)
IS the end of year 2 sem 1 in my degree life..well, tomorrow is the last paper for me and after tat i will officially having my very short sem break...(is less than 2 weeks..gosh!!!) 

Sometimes, what we expected is totally different in the real life..well, maybe is i expected too much on him or maybe i'm just too greedy..how to say?! it just kinda feeling..sometimes, i felt that we have no future,although i really wish to have. Is that i'm thinking too much? i really duno..what i felt is the feeling like already change..there is a gap between us!!!
i hate this kind of feeling...for him, i dun tink he realize anything change..maybe girls are always more sensitive than guys.there is something wrong between us!! is quite frustrated for me actually..But..life still go on...
i scared i will be hurt again and again..and i really dun wish something bad happen to me..
it's all fate~ i will try to do my best and try to bear with everything....how it will goes like?! it is all depend to god and i will just follow what the god has plan for me in my life... ... ....